“No new life can arise, say the alchemists, without the death of the old. They liken the art to the work of the sower, who buries the grain in the earth: it dies only to waken to new life.”
-Jung (1946)
There’s a lot of talk about manifestation online—how to do it, when to do it, and why. We hear about the mindset, the tools, and the vibration. It’s a beautiful act of creation and collaboration with the universe, right? Absolutely! But what I wish I’d seen more of when I started my journey is the creative power of destruction required to manifest the life you’re dreaming of, and how to cultivate a perspective that sees mortificatio for what it is: a regenerative moment creating fertility for the future.
Your New Life Will Cost You Your Old One
It’s easy to feel discouraged when trying to create something new and magical, only to see everything falling apart around you. In my most recent tower moment, I felt a wave of anger—at the universe, the process, and myself. I often flip through my 2024 journal and see the entry from that day, where I angrily sketched a middle finger, expressing how fed up I was with the process of healing and self-actualization. In that moment, I needed the reminder that to manifest the life I desire, I must let everything that no longer fits that emerging expression decompose. When I allow what no longer serves me to become compost for my new life, I can plant seeds for the future I want.
In alchemy, this stage is called mortificatio—a phase that requires us to feel the very depths of our grief. We must grieve a life we once believed to be concrete to allow for something more flexible, something that embraces more facets of our vast selves. This stage cannot be rushed; it’s critical for the greater work of our lives. As old identities and roles we’ve completely identified with are left to compost, our ego believes that we are truly dying. During this stage, the control our ego craves becomes inaccessible, leaving it feeling trapped and incompetent.
Enter: Non-Duality
To see the gift being offered during this stressful phase, I had to channel my energy into non-duality. This concept has many definitions and interpretations, so I’ll share what it means to me: letting go of value judgments and expectations to see the data, information, and lessons within situations. When we focus on deciding whether something is inherently good or bad, we lose the objectivity required to see what’s really happening. As Brené Brown says, we wrap a story around it. When we get stuck in that story, we can’t see what’s actually happening beneath the surface. Assigning a value judgment creates a veil that prevents us from learning the greater lesson of the experience.
If I were reading this, I’d ask, “Okay, sure, but what does that look like?” Here’s an example:
You’re manifesting a new career that offers more freedom and stability. Then, out of the blue, you lose your current job and get stuck in a rut, feeling like everything is ruined. “How could this happen to me?!” you cry. Yes, losing your job sucks. But through non-duality, you can see the blessing in disguise. The universe is pushing you to create the life you want. You’re being given the opportunity to bring this new career into existence.
To be clear, this is not encouraging toxic positivity. You can acknowledge that it sucks. This is a practice in preventing yourself from getting lost in the mortificatio stew as everything is whirling around. Seeing the lesson helps us to maintain the bigger picture which can be easy to lose when we feel like everything is falling apart.
Embracing Destruction on the Path to Creation
“Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.”
Picasso
As sobering as it is, we must allow this stage to deconstruct and release everything that needs to be surrendered to create what we’re dreaming of. By stepping back from viewing things as good or bad, we can find beauty in the act of destruction. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by this current stage, just remember: when everything is falling apart, it’s actually a sign that it’s all coming together.